


Welcome Home

by merrysophiatrash



Series: A Son, A Father, and a Lot of Confused People [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Infinity War happened but it doesn't really get mentioned, Iron Dad, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, The Avengers being Protective of Peter, The only reason it's teen is because cussing, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, spider son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-09 22:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15277443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrysophiatrash/pseuds/merrysophiatrash
Summary: A field trip to Avengers Towers leaves our favorite neighborhood vigilante in a strange situation to explain to his classmates.-=+=-Or, the one where Peter and his class go on a field trip to Avengers Tower.





	1. Welcome to the Madness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting on the Archive, so anything you wanna comment on is greatly appreciated!

To say that Peter was bored would be an understatement. He was in Chemistry, "learning" things he had done years ago. And it was the last class period of the day. And he had to get home fast so he could finish a nanotech suit he was working on. And he wanted to patrol. Everything about this day was screaming for him to go home out of boredom.

So when the bell finally rang and Mr. Lazacs held them back, he nearly screamed.

“Okay, kids, I know you’re anxious to leave here, but I have permission slips for this year’s science field trip. This year, on Friday,” he paused for dramatic effect, a few kids hanging on his words, “We’re going to Avengers Tower!”

As Mr. Lazacs continued on about how Tony had bought back Avenger’s tower after the Infinity War, and how the company that bought it didn’t want to ensure the Arc Reactor, Peter thought. 

Avengers Tower. They were going to Avengers Tower. On a field trip. To his home. Where his crazy family lives. Where he sleeps every night. They’re going there.

Great.

Nobody save Ned (and possibly MJ if the knowing looks she gave him was anything to go by) knew that. That he was legally Anthony Stark’s child. That he lived in Stark Tower. That his Aunt May had died last year, a casualty in the Infinity War. That Tony Stark had gotten legal guardianship of him and later, adopted him. That Tony Stark was his dad. That he called Tony Stark dad. That the Avengers were his aunts and uncles.

Mr. Lazacs stood by the door, handing out half sheets of paper when Flash pushed past him and grabbed the paper he had reached for. 

“Why would you need that, Penis? You don’t need a tour of the place! After all, you do work there, right?” He ran off, shouting over his shoulder as he went, “By the way, do you think you could get your old pal Tony Stark to come say hi? Oh wait, you can’t. You’re just a loser who lies about internships and knowing an Avenger.”

Peter very nearly burst at that. Peter had literally died trying to save the asses of people like Flash Thompson, and he had the audacity to call him a liar. Though it wasn’t completely Flash’s fault, considering he didn’t know that. Peter calmed himself down and grabbed another from his Chemistry teacher, and walked out of school, with a wave at Ned and MJ.

Today, rather than Happy picking him up, it was Pepper, his super-caring-kinda-scary adoptive mom.

She kissed him on the forehead when he got in the car, abandoning whatever she was doing on her phone.

“So, Peter, Steve and I are going on strike and refusing to cook tonight, so we’re picking up takeout,” she sighed a bit, somewhat laughing, “as we speak Tony and Clint are arguing over shawarma or Chinese, and Bruce wants pizza, but they all agreed that they would cede to whatever you wanted, so you have your pick.”  
He contemplated his options for a bit, then landed on,

“Italian. Everyone eats it and we haven’t had it for a while, so…”

She nodded, and the drive continued like that, their easy conversation filling the car.

About a minute after Peter and Pepper walked through the door, once FRIDAY had alerted everyone they were home, everyone was in the kitchen, awaiting their food.

Aside from the grumbles from those who didn’t get the food they wanted, dinner went smoothly, and soon enough Peter was done and heading down to the lab, then to patrol, and not much later, up to bed.

The next day after school is when Nat brought it up. And God if she weren’t a super spy capable of kicking his ass… 

“So Peter,” she started, setting down her fork and knife, and by the glint in her eye, Peter knew exactly what she was doing. “What about this field trip, huh?”

The conversation around the table stopped, and Peter looked as if he wanted to slink down in his chair and curl into a ball.

Tony set down his fork. “Field trip? Where?”

Natasha grinned a scarily Cheshire-like grin. “Here. At the tower”

Soon, all of the Avengers were wearing Natasha’s Wonderland-esque smile. And Peter nearly screamed.

“No. No. Nononononononono, dad, you can’t,” Peter started, his face turning red, “If any of you show that you know me, people will find out about everything. Which I’m pretty sure none of us want that to happen considering that we’re holding a press conference about ‘Introducing me to the World’ in about a month and--”

Tony cut him off, “Okay kid, your rambling is getting to be a bit much, but fine. We won’t give anything away. On purpose.” Peter sighed in relief.

“But that isn’t to say we won’t come to talk to you throughout this thing.” He groaned, flopping in his chair, mumbling about awkwardness and ‘why couldn’t his life just be normal’ until the normally silent Bruce Banner spoke up, a muted smile on his face.

“Yeah, Pete, what if I need you to work on some code, just conveniently forgetting that you’re supposed to be in school?”

Peter groaned even louder and the rest of the night went as such, all of the Avengers teasing him about it and Tony eventually signing his permission slip.

Friday arrived much sooner than Peter wanted it to. Before he knew it, he was getting loaded onto a school bus with 30 other kids, headed home, which not gonna lie was kind of annoying. He had just come from there, walked to school, only to be bused back over there, would then be bused back to school, and then he would walk back home. He huffed.

“Parker!” someone hissed. “Hey, Parker!”

Peter turned towards the voice, now proven to be Flash. “What are you going to do once everyone finds out your lie, huh? Are you gonna go run to your imaginary friend, Tony Stark?!” He and his cronies snickered, until a glare from MJ shut them up.

When they finally reached the tower, Peter nearly doubled over laughing at all of the awe-filled stares his classmates held at the building. If this is how they looked due to the outside, they would die at the inside.

Slowly but surely, the group made their way into the building.

The lobby was massive, taking up the majority of the first floor, and though it wasn’t super grandiose it was still somewhat magical. Directly in front of them were the lobbyists and greeters, security guard, and the check-in point for various tours. A bit further were the metal detectors, which had an automated voice reading out the person who was walking through them, their clearance level, as well as anything notable in their bags. Closer to the elevators, there were two fountains, one with the Avengers logo at the center, and the other with the Stark Industry logo. The whole place screamed elegance, with its collage of pristine white marble and steel and glass. Peter’s class was sorta freaking out at it all, but Peter, literally having come out of here half an hour ago, was unperturbed.

Eventually, after snapping out of his own stupor, Mr. Lazacs herded his class from the entrance to one of the various check-in desks, where a nice lady named Emily (Peter really liked her, she had saved his skin last time he had forgotten his badge and she was the one who gave Ned his badge) sat, typing away at a computer. Mr. Lazacs greeted her, explaining who he was and why they were here. Ms. Emily rummaged through her desk a bit, coming out with a box labeled Midtown School of Science and Tech. Passes. She opened the box, handing it to Mr. Lazacs and said, “There you go! 30 passes for Mr. Lazacs class.”

Mr. Lazacs looked confused, and Peter wanted to lay down and die, knowing what he would say next.

“I’m sorry, Miss, but, including me, there should be 32 passes,” Yep there it is. Here it comes.

Emily sat back down at her desk, doing something at her computer before she looked up and said, “Well, it looks as though two of the children you registered for the tour already have passes. Let’s see…” by now, the whole ordeal had caused quite the commotion, so Peter stepped up.

“It’s okay, Em, it’s just Ned and me, no need to go searching.”

Mr. Lazacs looked insulted. “Now Peter, this lie has gone on for far long enough. There is no way a student in high school has an internship at Stark Industries! Let this Lady work out the problem-”

Emily cleared her throat. “I’m sorry sir, but he is not lying. Peter does in fact work here. I’ve had the privilege of working with him many times. And Ned Leeds, though he doesn’t technically work here, is always welcome. He’s fixed my computer, and many others, too many times to count. Speaking of, where is he?” Ned peeked his head out from the back of the gathering crowd with a quick, “Hey, Em!” she waved back, then continued. “Now boys you know the rules. Put your badges on the outermost article of clothing you have. You know how Happy is about badges. Same goes for everyone else,” she paused, replastering on her famous customer-face. “Please have a nice tour. Make sure everyone steps through the scanners and make sure to tell them not to have phones out during the tour.” 

Eventually, Peter’s class made it to the scanner, with Peter and Ned at the back of the line. A girl named Julia came up to them. 

“Hello, Midtown Tech! My name’s Julia, and I’ll be your tour guide today. So, before we go in, I’d like to start off telling you about the Clearance System we use here at the Avengers tower. So, to start, there are four different clearance groups. Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Omega Clearance, with Alpha being the most exclusive and Omega being Visitor Clearance. So, within each group of clearances, there are four levels. Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue, with Red being the lowest and Blue being the highest. Now, you guys get the best tour, so you have Omega Blue passes.” she paused, catching her breath. “Gamma Passes are for employees who do not have access to the labs. IT people, desk managers, etc. Most people with lab access have Beta clearance, which gives clearance to mostly everything except the living quarters. Alpha passes are the same, only with access to the living quarters.”

Peter wasn’t really listening, but he started to when he heard Abe say, “So if all four Alpha passes allow access to living quarters, what’s the difference?”

Julia nodded her head. “Good question! Well, Alpha Red passes give access to only Common Floors of living space. So, for instance, Avengers who don’t live in the tower, like Ant-Man, as well as for Important people Mr. Stark invites to his home. Alpha Yellow passes give access to the Common Floors as well as their own floor, and Alpha Green gives them access to all Living Floors as well as the Garage and Armory.”

Peter knew what was coming next. He knew, and yet he couldn’t do anything about it. So when Flash spoke up, he swore he was actually going shoot himself with one of the Iron Man Gauntlets he was working on.

“So what’s Alpha Blue and who has it?” Shit.

Julia glanced nervously at Peter, who shrugged noncommittally.

“W-Well,” She started, her confidence faltering. “There are only four people with Alpha Blue clearance, and the only thing it does is allow access to Tony Stark’s personal lab.” Flash nodded, encouraging her to go on, “The four passes belong to the man himself, Tony Stark, his wife, Pepper Stark, Dr. Bruce Banner, and…” she stared at Peter one more time, asking for consent to spill his secret, and he nodded. “Peter Parker, who, if I’m not mistaken, is here with us right now.”

His class was silent, including his teacher, and Julia laughed nervously. “Sorry Peter,” she added, as an afterthought. “Anyway, through the scanners, so we can get on with the tour!”

In their daze, everyone went through the scanner, the automated voice calling their name and clearance level. When it got to Peter, the automated voice disappeared, being replaced by FRIDAY.

“Peter, Clearance Level Alpha Blue. Notable resources include small-scale nonlethal prototypes for six of the Avenger’s weapons, as well as pieces of a robot belonging to R&D floor 67. All are approved. Welcome, Peter.” No one seemed to notice the fact that the AI hadn't said his last name. Peter thanked his lucky stars for AI that knew when to not spill a secret.

“Hey, Fri.” Peter chuckled nervously at all of the attention he had gotten, only five minutes into the tour before his family could even embarrass him. Then it was Ned’s turn, and the automated voice came back.

“Ned Leeds, Clearance Level Gamma Yellow, with approved access to the Living Quarters. Notable resources include blueprints and code for much of the Stark Industries IT department, floors 33-45. All are approved.”

Peter hurried to the elevator, not looking back on his class until he was there. They were slack-jawed and buggy-eyed, but for the moment they refrained from asking questions. Until the elevator opened up and Hawkeye walked out.


	2. Meet Uncle Clint and Aunt Tasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the tour group meets Clint in an elevator and Natasha like to cause chaos

It might have been somewhat normal (if you could call an Avenger walking out of an elevator normal), but Peter knew better.

“Peter my dude my fantastical nerd,” He greeted, to which Peter would normally respond with, ‘Clint, my dude, my majestical bird’ but he didn’t, and Clint’s face fell.

“What’s wrong with you, mopey. I can count on one hand the number of times you haven’t returned my greeting,” his face drew concerned. “I’m not leaving you alone until you accept my greeting.”

Ten minutes into this tour and Peter already wanted it to end. And the sad thing was, he was actually excited for this at first. He was going to get to go see the exhibition rooms with all the old Iron Man armor, and old Avengers memorabilia that he had never gotten the chance to explore. He’d learn a bit more about the people he called his family. (If they would stop showing up and ruining it.) And so, with a heaving sigh, he looked into Clint’s eyes.

“Clint, my dude, my majestical bird.” 

Let’s just say Peter’s class was confused. Very confused.

“Well, okay, if you’re going to be boring, I’m going to go train, but Nat’s making noodles tonight, and Nat’s noodles are the best, so you better perk up before dinner.”

Julia, who looked somewhat starstruck, started to speak again. “Mr. Barton, at the moment, we are taking the elevator to one of the Avenger’s training rooms, if you would like us to drop you off,”

Peter mentally facepalmed. Because, yeah, that was a good idea. Getting into a jam-packed elevator of his classmates with his blabbermouth Uncle Clint. Hooray. 

And so Clint got in the elevator, the first ten seconds in awkward silence, until, guess who? Flash spoke up.

Polite, for once in his life, he said, “So, Mr. Hawkeye, sir, how do you know Pen-Peter?”

Clint looked at Flash suspiciously, seemingly recognizing him, before his face lightened up and he answered. “Well, Stark Junior here started off as Tony’s personal assistant, then, when Stark figured out what a genius he was, upgraded him to the lab tech, and the kid here kept going up.” He grinned. “Now Peter here works on all the Avenger’s tech, and if you wanna see something funny, get Stark down here and see how much this kid’s got him wrapped around his little finger.” The elevator slowly came to a stop, all my classmates were either looking at Clint or Peter. Then Clint left, his hand raised in mock salute, and entered the door that led to the training room behind the glass.

Because his dad knew it was his class, he got the class access to pretty much everywhere. He was probably gonna show up at some point and be like, ‘Oh, let me show you Peter’s bedroom and personal Lab, just for the sake of embarrassing him!”

But for now, they were in the main training room, or, more accurately, watching the main training room. They were outside of it, watching through the practically indestructible glass, where Clint and Natasha were sparring on the mats. The training room was the size of a warehouse, the corridor seemingly stretching forever, and it was fully equipped. Along the wall were countless workout machines, spots with weights, ropes that stretched to the ceiling, obstacle courses, and anything else you could possibly imagine. In the center were the various mats and weapons racks for training. Tasha and Clint were on the center mat and going weaponless today, and the class stopped where they were, Julia in the front.

“So, as you can see, we have Hawkeye and the Black Widow sparring in there. In just a minute, we’ll enter through the same door Mr. Barton did, but first I need to know. Did everyone get their waivers signed? If you did, that means your parents authorized you to go spar with them, and take part in the obstacle courses and things. They’ll go easy on you, and you won’t get injured, but for legal reasons, we still need the waivers. If you did not get your waivers signed, you’ll stay in this corridor with your teacher. You’ll still get to hear everything being said in there, but you won’t be in the middle of it.”

Cindy was the only one whose parents hadn’t authorized the waiver, but she was perfectly fine with that, content to watch from the outside.

As they entered the room, Natasha tackled Clint, still managing to be graceful, and sat on him until he agreed to yield. When they both got up, they faced the class. Natasha spoke first.

“Hello, Midtown. I’m Natasha, and in this section of the tour around the Tower, you’re going to be learning some self-defense tips and tricks because Stark said that we had to do something. Later on, some other Avengers might join us, but for now, it’s just birdbrain and me.” Clint looked offended. “Nat, how dare. I’m your best friend. You’re the godmother to my children, I have been betrayed.” At this, he fell over dramatically, and Aunt Tasha looked as though she would facepalm at any second, but her finger went in the air, somewhat all knowingly, and she said,

“False. Peter is my best friend. He’s actually intelligent and he’s almost fluent in Russian at 15. You are a sack of potatoes with a brain the size of a pea who can shoot stuff.”

Clint got up off the floor and pouted away, muttering about her ‘picking a literal 12-year-old over a friend she’s known for 12 years.’

Tasha laughed. “Anyway, Now that that idiot’s gone, I can actually start,” she said, interrupted by a muffled, “I resent that!” from somewhere else in the training room.

“So, today, in order to not rough you kids up too much, we’ll be practicing what to do if you’re attacked and neither of you has weapons. So first, if I could get a volunteer,” All of the hands in the room went up, except Peter. Even MJ.

Natasha picked MJ, explaining the stance to her and telling her to get in it. Though her form wasn’t perfect, it was fairly good, especially for her first time ever to spar. Natasha corrected a few things and started a fight in slow motion. For never having fake-fought with a former Russian spy, she held her own fairly well. Once Natasha had pointed out some of her weaknesses, (“lower your arms a bit, you wanna protect your internal organs, not your shoulders” and “you’re lunging a bit too far out, if someone sweeps one of your feet out from under you, you’ll lose your balance.”) she moved on, asking for another volunteer and thanking MJ for being her guinea pig.

And who would have guessed it, Flash Thompson was cocky and arrogant, and wanted to try his own. Natasha went a little faster, and unlike MJ, Flash was not the best. She had him pinned in about ten seconds. When she was done toying with him, softly wapping at his weaknesses, she let him go, too.

She wiped her hands on her catsuit, and smirked at her handiwork, then said, with a teasing lilt to her voice, “Now I’ll show you what a real-time spar without weapons would look like.” Then she looked at Peter, who was furiously shaking his head. She ignored him.

“C’mon, Peter, let’s show your classmates that you’ve actually learned something, training with me.” From behind Aunt Tasha, someone snickered. 

“Puny Parker, going up against the Black Widow? Ms. Natasha, you can’t possibly think that that’s a fair fight?” Natasha turned around, her eyes completely cold.

“Well, he can’t do much worse than you, can he?” Flash’s skin flushed, and Tasha gave him the ‘listen to me or I’ll skin you alive’ eyes, so Peter got on the mat.

He thanked Thor he wore sweatpants today, and not jeans.

Natasha started the match with no more than a nod of her head, and suddenly they were off. Peter’s class was amazed at what he was doing. First, it was knowing two Avengers, next, it was training with the Black Widow? They were enchanted by the way the flew across the mat, almost dancing, neither breaking a sweat. The match lasted much longer than they expected, until they could see Peter visibly getting tired. A second after Natasha noticed, she had him pinned to the ground.

“Good going, Peter. Do you yield?” Even from where Cindy was watching, they could see the glint in Peter’s eyes. He smirked. “Nope!”

He kicked her legs out from underneath her, flipping so it was he who had her pinned down. His previous exhaustion seemed to have left him. “Do you?” She smiled genuinely.

“Yeah, Mini Stark, I do.”

After a few questions from his class about ‘Peter how the fuck’, they moved on. When they got into the elevator after Julia to move on to the next floor, Peter got pushed to the back to Mr. Lazacs. The man gave a bashful smile at Peter and drew in a breath. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, Peter. You’re a good kid with no reason to lie, so that’s on me.” Peter smiled, blowing out a breath of air. “It’s okay. I can totally see how people might think I was bold-faced lying. Even to me, it’s a little unreal.” Just as Mr. Lazacs was about to say something back to Peter, Julia spoke up.

“Now, the next lab we’re going to has some slightly dangerous stuff in it, so you cannot touch anything unless instructed to do so. This is R&D Lab 67, where we will meet our head researcher on the Arc Reactor, Dr. Robert Johnson. Someone else you might see in this lab is Dr. Bruce Banner, the nuclear physicist, most well known for his work on Gamma Radiation, and for his hero alter ego, the Hulk. This is as far as I’m allowed, as I do not have access to the labs, so an R&D intern will meet you on the other side. I wish you the best of luck with your tour, have a nice day!” 

After quick goodbyes to Julia, they headed toward the access point, which would deny them access and have to be manually overridden by one of the interns. And who stepped out of the door but Drs. Bruce Banner and Robert Johnson. Fucking great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, I don't have a Beta, so besides me, no one really edits these. If there are any glaring errors, feel free to point them out, I like feedback!


	3. Meet Dr. Robert Johnson and Uncle Bruce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce unintentionally blows some children's minds and Peter's eccentric friend Dr. Johnson makes an appearance.

Peter knew he was screwed when Dr. Johnson hurried out of the lab with a worried look on his face, heading directly towards him. Amazing. Had nobody in this godforsaken building realized that he wasn’t here for work purposes? Literally everyone in the building complained about him being at school when they needed him, how did they not see that Peter was here with this large group of children, hiding from them? 

“Peter Parker thank God. Belle was supposed to take this tour group through the labs, but she had to leave, some sort of family emergency. Can you be spared from your work for like, half an hour, to lead this group? Please, I beg you, if you don’t, I’ll have to.”

Peter chuckled nervously, probably for the 100th time in the past hour or so. “Umm, actually Rob, I can’t. I’m sorta…” he paused, thinking about his words, “in it.” The doctor looked confused, and Bruce had an uncharacteristically mischievous smile on his face. 

“In it? You mean you’re touring your own workplace? That’s stupid.” He turned towards Mr. Lazacs “Would any of you be particularly uncomfortable with Peter as your guide today? Don’t worry you won’t miss anything. Peter’s done this tour before.” Mr. Lazacs nodded his head in agreement before saying, “yeah, um sure! As long as we don’t get off task, we have to be back by the bus by 1:30, when our visitors passes expire.” Dr. Johnson hurried away frantically, as he did everything else, not bothering to answer Mr. Lazacs.

Bruce went up to Peter timidly, knowing he was in full control of the audience of children in front of him. “Sorry, Peter. I was here to ask if you could help me with some code on the bot we’ve been working on. I think an intern touched it and I can’t get it to go back the way we had it last night. But if you’re busy, it can wait until you’re done here.”

Peter perked up. At first, he thought Bruce was being sarcastic, playing the role of embarrassing Peter, but Dr. Bruce Banner wouldn’t purposely screw up a robot they had been working on for weeks just to embarrass Peter, would he?

In the end, Peter decided he needed to investigate. He couldn’t let anyone else mess with his robot.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Lazacs, Stark Industries tours always give a thirty minute leeway period so no one gets locked in the building without a working pass. Plus, me fixing the robot is a good chance to show you a bit of what Stark Industries does besides help the Avengers and provide clean energy with the Arc Reactor. As you all know, I’m Peter, and I work mostly on the upper floors with Mr. Stark, but occasionally I come down here to work on the bots. The one Dr. Banner is referring to is a medical bot the two of us created a few weeks ago.” 

His class looked confused. Because suddenly he wasn’t Peter, nerd, who possibly knows the Avengers, he was Peter Parker, a tour guide at Stark Industries. This Peter bled confidence, had a fake smile rivaling Julia’s, and spoke in a way that seemed like he cared, but lacked the usual passion Peter possessed. He literally transformed.

As they walked over to the bot, his classmates grew more and more confused. Apparently, none of them knew Peter Parker at all.

“Okay. Meet Melanie. And be kind, she’s still in development.”

They were met by silence, and Flash jeered. “Ha! The bot Parker made doesn’t even work. Who woulda thought?” 

Bruce, who was standing to the side, frowned. “She’s been acting up all morning. I’ve asked everyone on this floor, but no one can figure out the mistake in the code. It’s like she just shut down.”

Suddenly, Peter’s eyes lit up. “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot! Last night I took out her memory card to fix some issues upstairs! It’s in my bag!” Peter took off his backpack and started rummaging through it, grabbing a little card that could fit on the tip of his finger. He inserted it into a seemingly invisible slot, and suddenly the bot in front of them whirred to life almost silently. On a screen, a kind face showed up.

“Hello,” she said, “I’m Melanie. How can I assist you?”

Peter smiled at her. “Heya, Mel. I’m new here. Can you tell me what you do?”

Melanie laughed. “You are not new here, Peter, you are my creator. You coded me, along with noted physicist Dr. Bruce Banner. I am programmed to always tell you what I do, though. I am a program dedicated to the medical needs of children. I must seem a bit like magic to kids. I can show them virtually anything they would like to see, and my purpose is to calm children who need to go into surgery, or get shots, or be fitted for a prosthetic limb. I am going to help children, especially children who otherwise would not get the medical help they deserve. After I am out of development and much more cost efficient, I will be sent to hospitals with children in need in the hope of assisting them. I am happy to be of service.”

Peter grinned. “Thanks Mel, you can sleep now, if you’d like.” The screen went black.

“So, that was Melanie.” Peter started, “And she’s just one of the things we work on here. After Mr. Stark realized that his weapon distribution company was hurting our world more than it was helping, he decided to change it. The weapons division no longer exists, and all of our energy is devoted to bettering our planet, cheesy as it sounds.” He smiled, looking away as if lost in a dream. He guided his class to the 3D printer where they made prosthetics, the MRI AI that could tell doctors if he found something in the scans that the doctors missed, and a few other things, before heading back Bruce. 

“Now on your tour, you get a Q&A with the legend himself, Dr. Bruce Banner. I’ll be over there,” he pointed towards where a few workers were huddled around something, ‘while you do this. Bruce, if you need anything, give me a yell.”

Peter walked off to where the interns were, leaving Bruce Banner, introvert extraordinaire, to deal with a group of thirty-something children and one thoroughly confused teacher.

“Alright, ask away.”

For a second, nobody spoke and then, (twenty bucks on who said it) Flash raised his hand. Bruce nodded toward him in acknowledgment, and Flash spoke. “So what do you really think of Peter Parker? How did he get you to pretend to know him, anyway?” Bruce looked a bit confused, pulling his rare-but-still-existing-face-of-absolute-bewilderment.

“Pretend to know him? What reason would I have to pretend to know him? He’s practically my best friend’s son, of course I know him. And Peter’s a great kid, he’s even more of a prodigy than Stark was at his age. He’s extremely intelligent, though a little-” Bruce was cut off by a large boom from behind him, and the class turned towards Peter and the interns, who had their faces turned black, the space where their goggles were being the only place that was spared from the black dust.

“Accident Prone.” He finished. He pointed at MJ, who had raised her hand.

“I know you’re known for your work in Gamma Radiation, but from what I’ve seen, that doesn’t appear to be what you do here. What are your largest projects and most important jobs here?” Bruce Bruce bobbed his head absentmindedly, marveling at the girl’s question. Most of the time in questionnaires he just got asked about the Hulk.

“Well,” he started, prepared to deflect the question, but not to answer it, “I mostly work in biomedical engineering for the team. Like you probably know, many of the Avengers have bodies that don’t react to our medicine in the right way. In Cap’s, Bucky’s, and Spiderman’s case, they metabolize your average painkiller way too fast for it to be effective. In Thor and Loki’s case, because they’re literally aliens, their bodies don’t react with medicine from earth at all. A brilliant scientist named Helen Cho and I mostly work on meds for the team. Sometimes I’m also down here, working on our program for making prosthetics, or lately, Peter and I have been working on way to efficiently mass producing more AI’s like Melanie for children’s healthcare, as well as making her cost-effective, so she can help more people. Good question, anyone else?”

Cindy, who was back with the group now that they were out of the training room, raised her hand. Bruce nodded towards her, and she said, “Is Spiderman an Avenger?”

Bruce looked confused. “Hey, Petey?” He yelled.

“Yeah?” It was at this point that Peter came jogging back to the class, with his face still filled with soot. “Note to Bruce, don’t allow me with the interns unattended, we blow stuff up too much.” Bruce nodded. “Noted. Hey, is Spiderman an Avenger?”

Peter looked puzzled. “Legally, no, because he’s a minor who didn’t sign the Accords. But like, he’s with the team all the time and always comes back to the tower after missions, so I would say yes.”

And with that, Peter led the group away from Banner, with a quick “Bye, Bruce!” and a discussion on what was for dinner.

“Anyway, next on the tour, we’re going to go a bit higher than most people get to go, which will be evident by how long it takes us to get through the scanners. We’re going to the medical floor. Now, the only people who use this floor are researchers who work in potentially dangerous environments and the Avengers. We probably won’t see any Avengers, as there aren’t any missions going on right now, but we will see a lot of the medical staff that basically keep SI up and running. You’ll see how important they are when we go in.” Peter diverted the talk away from his soot-covered face, though it was still there for all the world to see. Once more, they all shuffled into the elevator, rising, this time, to the medical floor.


	4. Meet Wanda and Vision, As Well As Everyone's Favorite Grandma, Dr. Roberta Gonzalez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda and one of Peter's favorite doctors talk about changing the world while Vision sits in the background.

Let’s just say that getting Peter’s class through the security scanners was nothing short of a nightmare. I order to get everyone through, he had to make them go through and then manually tell FRIDAY to override their clearance with his. For thirty-one people. It was tedious.

As they started to make their way into the infirmary, everyone noticed how grand it was. Though it didn’t contain the almost unreal beauty that the lobby did, it was awe-inducing in its own way. To one side of them were rows of beds up to the windows, all of them either occupied or folded precisely, neatly. To the other sides, there were various rooms, probably for medical research. Some of them were glass and see through, and they could see doctors mixing chemicals and taking notes. Others were closed and promised more if you had access to them.

Then, once he had finally gotten his unofficial tour group completely through the doors, a face, familiar only to Peter, showed up.

“Peter, what did I say to you last time you were in my infirmary?” Peter’s class, which was somehow still surprised that this day continued to get stranger, looked up to an angry looking woman walking up to them. She spoke in a thick Spanish accent, which combined with her matronly tone, made for quite the character.

Peter blushed and scratched the back of his neck, looking bashful, but then rushed to defend himself. “I swear, Ms. Roberta, I’m not hurt! I-” The woman, apparently named Dr. Roberta, put a finger to his lips. “No excuses, boy! I told you and Tony. Next time I have to patch you up, I’m going to throw you out a window and hope someone catches you! And what did you do? You come back, probably internally bleeding! I suppose only God knows what injuries you have, because it’s not like you tell anyone on this earth! Now I’m going to lose my job and will have to explain to Dr. Stark why his kid is SPLAT on the pavement.”

Luckily for Peter, no one seemed to notice the fact that she had called Peter Tony’s “kid”. They were too busy noticing that she had taken to dragging Peter by his collar through the massive infirmary (seemingly toward the window, but no one mentioned that), the tour group awkwardly falling into place behind the odd duo. Flash took an infinite amount of pleasure in seeing Parker put in his place. Everyone else just found it funny.

 

“Ms. Roberta, I promise I’m not hurt! I’m here with a tour group! I swear!” Once she had almost arrived at the aforesaid window, she turned abruptly, pulling open a curtain to reveal Wanda Maximoff and Vision, Wanda in a hospital bed with her leg in a cast.

“Stark’s robot!” She started, Vision interrupting her with an “I’m not a robot, Dr. Gonzalez-”

“Don’t care. Scan Peter and make sure he’s not lying. Last time he was in here he had three broken ribs and neglected to mention it until Stark gave him a hug and he nearly passed out.” Peter looked down in shame, letting Vision scan him, and when he did, he noticed Wanda on the bed.

“Wanda? What happened?” She huffed, in an annoyed way.

“Training. The Ant-Boy grabbed me, then went big and dropped me.” Peter’s eyes widened. “He what?”

Wanda sighed. “I know, but he didn’t mean to. When he went big he didn’t think about the fact that I was smaller in comparison. I slipped through his fingers. Doesn’t hurt, so that’s good. Vis insisted to be here anyway.” Vision looked up and smiled. “Hello, Peter. Dr. Gonzalez, Peter does not have any injuries.”

Dr. Gonzalez finally released Peter’s shirt, leaving it a bit crumpled, and muttered in Spanish, “no sería diferente a él, el maldito idiota.”

“Hey!” Peter exclaimed, “I can understand you, you know! You’re the one who taught me Spanish!” Dr. Gonzalez crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly, then said, “Ned!” Ned looked up from somewhere in the back, smiling and waving when he caught Dr. Roberta’s attention, “I know you and Peter spend lots of time together, and he may be off the hook this time, but if he does something stupid and lands himself in the infirmary, and I find out you encouraged him to do the stupid thing, I will bring you here, and you can explain to Stark why Peter was broken. Clear?”

Ned nodded vigorously, raising his hand in salute. She nodded her head contentedly, then crossed her arms expectantly. 

“Oh yeah! Midtown, this is Dr. Roberta Gonzalez. She’s number one in the world in Emergency Medical Specialty and were lucky to have her. She’s pretty much the most important person in this tower, because if we didn’t have her, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, most of the Avengers, and every single one of our department heads would be dead. As would I. She’s also like everyone’s abuela, so everyone loves her.” 

Dr. Gonzalez smiled at the boy, who then turned to Wanda and Vision.

“And, turns out, I was wrong! We did see some Avengers in the infirmary. Meet Vision, everyone’s favorite, because he deals with everyone’s BS and knows when to put people in their place. Wanda though, is my personal favorite because she’s only a few years older than us and is already positively changing the world in the form of kicking evil ass.” He said, “Excuse my French.”

Wanda smiled. “False. I think everyone in this building can confirm that Peter’s everyone’s favorite, but thank you for allowing me to temporarily hold your title.”

Peter glowed red. “Anyway. Um. We are supposed to have time for a Q&A with just Ms. Roberta, but if Vis and Wanda don’t mind sticking around, I’m sure you could ask them a few questions too,” He paused, looking toward the two, who nodded. “Ask away!”

Unsurprisingly, Flash’s hand was the first up, meaning Peter was obliged to pick him first.

“Flash, who’s your question for?” Flash smirked and pushed to the front of the crowd, striding up to Dr. Gonzalez. “Why is Parker always in the infirmary anyway? I can’t imagine you trust him with anything dangerous.”

Dr. Gonzalez looked puzzled. Peter could tell she was tempted to tell him the whole ‘Peter-isn’t-a-Parker-anymore’ speech, just to put him in his place, but she knew Peter, and knew he valued the small bit of normalcy he had left.

“Actually, Peter handles the most dangerous stuff in this building. For one, he works extensively on the Arc Reactor, which as most of you know, had a smaller counterpart that used to reside in Dr. Stark’s chest and was highly problematic. The full sized one is not much better. He also works with many supercharged weapons for the Avengers. The number of times I have had to almost put him in a medically induced coma because he shot himself with a Widow’s Bite he made for Natasha, or because one of Dr. Stark’s Iron Man repulsors hit him in the head is too many to count on both hands.” At this, she smacked Peter upside his head, who in turn made a face of pain and brought his hands to the back of his neck.

Next was Ned, even though Peter was fairly sure he’d already asked Dr. Roberta every question she could possibly answer on trips to the tower, and before Peter could call on him, Dr. Roberta nodded her head towards him. “Leeds.”

Ned waved again, starting with “Hey Dr. G, it’s good to see you again. Why do you call Tony Stark Dr. Stark? I’ve never noticed it before.” 

As she was about to speak, Peter’s hand shot in the air mockingly. “Oooh, I know this one! Pick me!” The doctor rolled her eyes, before nodding towards him.

“Okay, so Tony Stark has like, three doctorates, and they’re like, the only thing he’s humble about. He never tells anyone. So because Abuela Roberta is awesome, she makes sure he remembers it. That he is successful. But seriously though, he has not one, not two, but three. He’s more than qualified to call himself ‘Dr. Stark’” Dr. Roberta nodded, then asked for the next question.

MJ’s hand was the next to shoot up, despite her famous dislike for Stark Industries and the system of capitalism in general.

“MJ, who’s your question to?” MJ stood up a little straighter. “It’s to both Dr. Gonzalez and Ms. Maximoff. So I have a female empowerment blog, and this will be on the record, if you don’t mind,” Both women nodded, seeing her passion and growing excited for her question, after Flash’s horrible attempt. “Obviously both of you impact the world in very big ways, but what advice do you have for people, especially young girls, to impact the world in their own way?” Both Wanda and Dr. Gonzalez looked extremely impressed, and Dr. Roberta gestured to Wanda to go first. She cleared her throat.

“Well, I think everyone impacts the world in both big and little ways, the little ways far outweighing the big ones. Most people impact the world in a big way only a few times in their lives. But the little ways add up, if that makes sense,” she paused, looking at MJ, who was ignoring Mr. Lazacs' pointed glances at her phone and was recording anyway, “And while waiting for your time to impact the world in a big way, impact the world in as many little ways as you can.” She paused, thinking of her next words. “I believe that all people have powers. And they can use that powers for good or bad. Now, these powers aren’t anything magical, in fact, they’re pretty mundane. Kindness, Intelligence, Selflessness, Booksmarts, Streetsmarts, Strength,” She gestured towards the group. “Normal right? All of you here have at least one or two of those, as well as others.”

“The key with these powers,” She started again, “Is whether you use them for good or bad. For instance, some people who are very kind maliciously use their kindness to get others to do things they shouldn’t. Some extremely intelligent people use their powers to make weapons. Some people who are very strong use their strength to help those who are weak.” She walked over to Peter, hugging him and shaking his shoulders. “For example, Peter’s greatest powers are probably his intelligence and his kindness, wouldn’t you agree?” There were some murmurs of agreement throughout the crowd.

“Now, for the sake of time, let’s just use his intelligence as an example. Peter impacts the world in very little ways with his intelligence most of the time. He helps his school win Decathlon events, as do some of you. He fixes a code that makes something only marginally better. Make sense?” A few nods.

“But he also has the chance to impact the world in a big way. He’s a lucky one, and he’s already done so. He’s created non-lethal weapons that have allowed the Avengers to efficiently take down enemies without killing them, so he could consider himself a humanitarian. He creates medical programs to try and help children in need. So I guess, the key to impacting the world is knowing that you will impact the world eventually, but in the meantime, try to positively impact smaller things. One life, to start with. And for young girls, I suppose my advice is not to let anyone stand in your way, whether it be little or big.” She smiled, and Peter’s whole face went red. “Wow, thanks Wanda!” then he nodded to Dr. Gonzalez.

The doctor chuckled. “Mines a lot briefer, I’m afraid,” she said, almost embarrassed, “It’s just to remember that you are impacting the world, with all the little things you do. The little girl you helped up when she fell down is a bit happier knowing that someone noticed she fell, and though it may not be the world, one soul is worth a lot. That’s why I-” she cut herself off, “we, really, Wanda, Vision, the Avengers, and I, do what we do.” She looked at MJ, who had an expression of wonder no one had ever seen on her before. “If I only saved one more life before I dropped dead, I would still consider my life a success. And to young girls, my only advice is,” she paused, her hand going to her face, “How does it go, Peter? The one I wanted Steve to paint in my office?”

Peter burst out laughing. In between breaths, he said, “Do no harm, but take no shit.” 

Dr. Gonzalez grinned gleefully, and the rest of Peter’s class laughed.

Then, after a few questions to Wanda about her powers and a friendly debate on whether or not Vision was a robot, the tour was on their way out of the medical floor and back on the elevator. And was Peter in for a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this personal headcanon that Peter likes learning languages, don't really know why, but that's why I included the comment about Natasha teaching him Russian, and the fact that he speaks Spanish. (It's probably because I'm bilingual tbh)


	5. Meeting Uncles Steve and Bucky ft. A Surprise Visit From the Princess of Wakanda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter runs into yet another set of Avengers and calls Shuri to brag.

Once they were on the elevator, Peter’s classmates lost their shit. Not even Mr. Lazacs could calm them down, let alone Peter.

“Peter what the fuck is going on?”

“What the shit, Parker how did nobody find this out before?”

“Do you know Captain America?”

“Seriously, Peter, are we going to meet Tony Stark?”

Peter remained quiet until the end. “Honestly, I don’t really know, don’t know, yes, and I hope not.”

“Speaking of, FRIDAY?” the elevator glowed a little brighter, and FRIDAY’s voice was heard. “Yes, Peter?”

“Can you see if another intern’s available? The higher up we get, the more likely someone’s going to question me, and I really don’t think we have time for that.” he seemed annoyed, though none of his classmates could fathom why. Getting recognized by all of these famous people must be a dream come true, if not a little embarrassing. Nevertheless, FRIDAY responded, saying she would send up someone if she could.

“Alright Midtown,” Peter started, the confidence he had previously in the lab somewhat faltering, but not leaving him completely, “Next up on the tour is the Rec Room. Now, though this room is accessible by the higher up staff, the only people who really use it are the Avengers. This is where we will leave the tour, and we’ll only be passing a few more places on the way out, the old Iron Man and Avengers museum, one more lab, and the gift shop. Now, any of the Avengers can add or take away things in this room. There’s always a lot of fan mail, some personal workout things, a table tennis table, along with lots of art supplies, seeing as this room has one of the best views besides the penthouse, and most Avengers aren’t allowed up there. Please, if someone has started a painting, don’t touch it. It’s probably Cap’s and he works pretty hard on them. No guarantee you’ll see any Avengers here, either, but you will get a glimpse into their personal life. You can probably tell who was in here last based on whatever’s out.” He looked at the confused glances and tilted heads of perplexion on his classmates. 

“Well, if the last thing out was the darts, and you can see them scattered on the floor, it was probably Clint and Sam. If it’s chess, it was probably Bruce, most likely playing with Natasha. If it’s art, it was probably Steve, more than likely accompanied by Bucky. If it’s books, it was probably Rhodey or Wanda, but if they’re textbooks or research material it was probably Bruce or one of the staff heads, but if they’re children’s books, it was probably Ant-Man with his daughter. Makes sense?”  
His class nodded, and someone near the back raised his hand.

“What about Tony Stark?” Peter grinned. “Mr. Stark almost never uses the Rec Room. He finds the most pleasure working in his lab.” The elevator came to a stop, and opened, and who was there but Captain America and the Winter Soldier, looking at the New York skyline, painting.

When they heard the door open, Steve and Bucky turned, paintbrushes in hand, towards them. They hadn’t noticed Peter yet.

“I told you there would be a tour, Buck! I asked if you wanted to wait, and you were all, ‘No, Steve I’m an impatient child who wants to paint now!’” Bucky scowled, then grinned, noticing Peter.

“Hey look, Steve, it’s Baby Stark!” Peter blushed to his ears, muttering a small, “hey, Bucky,” Steve looked at the group, actually looked, then flashed Peter the patent-pending ‘eyebrows-of-disappointment’. “Peter, did you skip school? What are you doing here?” Peter gestured to his class, saying, “My class took a field trip here, remember the whole permission slip thing?” Bucky and Steve nodded, “Anyway, Belle was supposed to conduct the tour, but she left, family emergency, and so Dr. Johnson had me do it, so now I’m conducting the tour I’m supposed to be taking, and every single Avenger has come up to me and made my life hell.”

Steve looked somewhat sympathetic for Peter, but Bucky was just inches away from laughing. Peter gave him a look. “Bucky, I swear to God. I’ve done so well. I’ve avoided Tony all throughout the tour, and we’re going down after this, so I probably won’t have to, and I’m so close, please don’t-”

Bucky just smiled. “Don’t worry, kid, I won’t tell Stark, but your predicament’s still pretty funny.” Peter sighed in relief. “Okay, Cap, tell the class something inspirational so we can get back down to the lower floors were I’m safe from Tony.” Steve looked pretty amused.

“Well, it seems I’m fresh out of inspirational quotes kid, but does anybody have any questions?” Peter groaned as everyone’s hands went up.

Steve pointed at MJ. “Curly brown hair, jean jacket, what’s your name?” MJ stood up a little straighter.

“It’s Michelle, sir, and I was wondering if the Accords were to your liking, now that you’re back home, and if you could tell us what was so wrong with them before?” Peter winced, knowing that the ‘Civil War’ was a tough topic for Steve and Bucky. Steve cleared his throat.

“Good question. Well, seeing as I made myself a fugitive of the law for some time, I don’t get much of a say in their editing, but from what Stark tells me, they’re coming up a lot more in everyone’s favor. As for before, the Accords were less about making us accountable for our actions and more about keeping us on lockdown. From what I can tell, Tony has made it so that we can do what we need to do without permission from the government, as long as we deal with the repercussions of those actions ourselves. If we don’t deal with it, the government has a way to get involved. If in our efforts to save a city, we destroy a building, we are responsible for helping rebuild it, or for paying for it.”

Michelle nodded, content. All the hands went back up. Steve picked someone in the back.

“Mr. Barnes, how does your new metal arm work?” Bucky looked confused, shrugging. “Honestly, I don’t know. You’d have to ask Peter and the princess of Wakanda about that one. Suddenly all eyes were on Peter.

“Oh- Um- Yeah. Well, Bucky’s previous arm, which was made with solely Wakandan tech, wasn’t working. Even though the Vibranium was light, it still left him unbalanced, and it was made for battle, pretty much only to be a weapon. Now that he uses real weapons, he doesn’t need to use it, if that makes sense, which means we could basically turn it back into a regular prosthetic. So Shuri and I, Shuri being the princess, helped make him a new arm, this one functional for more reasons that Bucky wanted it to be functional. Its Motor control function is much more precise to what Bucky wants to use it for, as well as much more gentle. He can pick up a paintbrush and paint the skyline with as much precision as he could have before., he could pick up an instrument and it would sound the way any of us could, if he wanted to. It also is much more accurately connected with his nerve cells, and it responds faster whenever he wants to do something. If you wanted to get into that part of the science, you’d need to call Shuri. I’m an engineer, so I made the arm, but she’s a bioengineer, so she’s the one who spent hours connecting the machine to the living thing. It also is weighted differently, more balanced. That’s about it.”

Peter’s class looked somewhat awestruck, a few mouths dangling open. Flash looked like fish, sputtering, “Puny Parker may be popular here, but there’s no way he knows the princess of Wakanda.” Steve glanced at Peter sideways. “Peter do these children know nothing about you? Peter and Shuri are practically inseparable. God, when they get together it’s any man’s worst nightmare. Their stupid almost-not-English-science-talk makes everyone’s, including Bruce and Tony’s, brains fry.” 

Flash blew a raspberry. “Oh yeah, Parker? Prove it.” Peter shrugged. “Not like she can embarrass me any more than everyone else has. FRIDAY, call Shuri.”

FRIDAY hummed, “Calling, Boss Ass Bitch” Steve choked on his own spit, Bucky burst out laughing, and Peter’s class gasped. Peter just turned tomato red. “I completely forgot she named herself that ohmygod.”

Suddenly the Wakanda princess appeared on the screen, though rather than looking at the camera, she was focused on something below the camera. She yawned.

“Peter I got almost no sleep last night, I’m not staying up until four AM ever again. I had to get up at five for some royal thing and my mother almost killed me. I don’t care if you forget that it’s late here, but at 8 in the evening for you is 4 in the morning for me and I cannot do that again.” She finally looked up at the camera and flinched backward in surprise. “Peter who are these people, I’m not awake enough for this.” With that, she reached toward the camera, and the holographic screen that had popped up displayed the words ‘Call Ended’. Peter frowned at it. “Well, Flash, you didn’t get to see very much of Grumpy McGee in her state of sleep, but that was her.” Suddenly a text showed up on the screen.

From: Boss Ass Bitch

_Peter if I don’t get an explanation on why you called me in the center of a group of children tomorrow, I’m going to fly to America myself and beat you with my brother’s suit. Night, idiot._

Peter sighed. “Well, on with the tour. Back on the elevator children, we’re heading out.”

 

Once they were back on the elevator, Peter let out a sigh of relief. “I cannot believe my luck. Good for once. I made it through this whole tour without Tony realizing I was here. Thank Thor.” Just as his classmates were about to question him, a voice came through the elevator’s intercom.

“I think it’s a little early for that, don’t you think, kiddo?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact the whole "Boss Ass Bitch" thing has actually happened to me. In front of my entire family, I told Siri to call my best friend, when in fact, said best friend had changed her nickname in my phone to that. It was fun to explain.
> 
> Also oooh it's what you've all been waiting for


	6. Meeting the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's class meets Pepper and Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's going to be a second part to this chapter, but it's set in a different scene (Peter's Lab) and it was really long already, so I wanted to go ahead and get it out.

Peter was so close. So very close. If he would have just shut his mouth, he probably would have made it.

“So, kiddies, I say, instead of being boring and getting lunch from the cafeteria and looking at old Iron Man suits and cheesy gifts, you skip that and come up here to the cool lab. Let’s take a vote. Those in favor?”

Every single hand in the elevator shot up. Except for Peter, who wanted more than everything to just curl into a ball and die.

“Okay, cool,” came the reply from above, “So, Peter here requested help with his tour, and I figured, I’m not doing anything why not? So now I’m hijacking your elevator. You’re all coming with me up to the cool part of this building. FRIDAY, if you would be so kind, bring them to the penthouse and override their passes so they have access to it all.”

That snapped Peter out of his stupor. “I asked for an intern’s help precisely because I didn’t want you to embarrass me, and all the penthouse? All of it? I don’t want them to see that!” There was a chuckle from the sound system. “Too bad, kid, I wanna spice things up a bit. You’re practically a walking disaster and it’s hilarious. I’m having FRI record all your actions. You make the funniest faces when you’re embarrassed, kid.” Peter groaned, and FRIDAY announced that they were stopping.

“FRIDAY, why did you stop them? I told you straight to the Penthouse, no pit stops!” Though she was an AI, she still sounded apologetic when she said, “You also have a protocol regarding Pepper Stark, stating that she has the ability to override any command unless in it is in a matter of her security. She wanted on the elevator, sir.”

The elevator opened to reveal Pepper in all her perfect glory. As always, her hair was pulled back in a way that was sensible, but still fashionable. She was dressed smartly, with her signature stilettos clacking on her way in. She wasn’t paying attention to the elevator, talking to someone on her earpiece and typing at her tablet. As she entered, everyone in the elevator instinctively stepped backward, her aura of importance taking over them. As the elevator door closed, she hung up her call, looking up to see Peter.

“Oh, hey Petey,” she said, kissing his forehead and tucking her tablet into the files she was carrying, “I was just about to text you. Tasha’s making noodles tonight, but I have a feeling that no matter how much she makes, it won’t be enough to feed everyone. Everyone’s coming tonight, even Clint and Scott, and I think Thor and Loki are on planet, so they may come with Darcy and Dr. Foster, so is there anything else you want me to make? Tony requested those dumplings Steve and I make, anything else?” Pepper’s happiness somehow bled around the elevator, and her good mood spread throughout the thoroughly confused and somewhat jealous elevator. “Um- Your beef teriyaki would go well, but like, I don’t really care or anything.” Pepper noticed his face, seeing that he was upset. (She somehow still didn’t see the gaggle of students behind her)

“What’s wrong Peter-” she cut herself off and checked her watch. “Wait, shouldn’t you be at school right now? Why are you here?”

Peter chuckled nervously. “Well, Pep, remember how I brought home a permission slip for a field trip here?” She nodded, still confused. “Well,” he said, gesturing behind them, “It’s actually today” Pepper looked around them and finally noticed the tour group. She gasped. “Oh Peter, I’m so sorry, I was totally planning on keeping away from you for this thing. I knew you’d get enough from the others.” She turned back around as the door opened on whatever floor she was leaving on.

“I’ll make it up to you, Peter, promise!” And with that, the elevator doors closed, and Peter was left alone once again after his family had embarrassed him. He sighed. Then, from the intercom, came a,

“That awkward moment when your mom embarrasses you in front of your friends…” and shortly after, a cry of, “OH MY GOD”

By the time they reached the penthouse, Peter was less embarrassed and more mad. As the elevator doors opened, he told his classmates in a rough voice, “follow me, don’t stray from where I am, because if I find you snooping around the penthouse I’ll have to call security to escort you back to the bus. He exited the elevator and stomped past the living area, hardly letting the kids take in the front room before moving on.

The Penthouse was actually the entirety of the top two floors of Avengers Tower, windows spanning from the bottom of the first floor to the top of the second, the living room and kitchen being two stories. Floating glass stairs with no railing led to the true top floor, where no doubt Tony Stark and Pepper Potts slept. Beneath the stairway was a door that no doubt led to Tony Stark’s personal lab. An elaborate bar was set up next to the plush, probably expensive couches and a tv the size of three pairs of French doors hung suspended from the ceiling in a way that defied gravity.

Before any of them knew it, Peter was telling them to stay still as he made his way up the glass stairs with a speed that could not have been safe. He disappeared into a hallway at the top of the stairs, coming back without his backpack, wearing a pair of thick-rimmed black glasses. They were confused. Peter Parker didn’t wear glasses, right? He stormed past the group, their bodies turning to face him, and went up to the massive fridge. He turned to them, his anger seemingly dissipating. He smiled.

“I figured, if he’s going to embarrass me, in front of my peers, I might as well take it in stride. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, but make it quick, we’ve got a lab to explore.”

One by one, starting with Ned, who was already somewhat familiar with Peter’s house, they all grabbed a small snack, having foregone lunch for a trip to Tony Stark’s personal lab.

When they were done, Peter started to talk. “I thought that if I was going to have to show you some tech, I’d start with something cool, first.” He tapped his glasses twice, and his class could see the glass turn blue like a screen.

“This is just a prototype, but essentially, it’s FRIDAY, the AI you’ve been hearing all this time. Only she’s in my head. Like BAM” Peter turned to the fridge, which had been suddenly opened. He dimmed the lights, made random doors upstairs open and shut, made the TV turn on. “We think this could help us, with the number of times people invade the tower. If we can control FRIDAY without speaking out loud, we could probably get out of a lot of sticky situations.” He took the glasses off and put them in his jacket pocket. “Now, if you’ll follow me, I believe we have a superhero billionaire to go annoy.” He grinned.

They went through the door that they believed led to Tony’s lab, but rather than open up to a room, it was to another hallway. One with two doors. They headed to the left.

And Peter’s class was in for quite the shock. The room was huge, expanding far further than looked possible from the outside. Throughout the lab, Highway to Hell was playing at a slightly worrying volume. It expanded two stories up, part of it with two separate floors, part of it with super tall ceilings. Across one wall was a line of about forty Iron Man suits in various states of completion. An old beat up Corvette with many mechanics’ tools sat in the middle, clearly part of the way to being restored. On another wall, expanding from floor to ceiling across the whole wall was a holographic screen covered in notes and algorithms and equations in three different handwritings. Some were in a neat one, a few more in a messy, loopy one, but the majority of the notes covering the board were written in one that was so scrawly it could hardly be deciphered. Across the wall directly in front of them were all of the other Avengers’ things. Different types of arrows resides under a portion labelled “Clint”, some sort of formula and a large piece of armor under “Banner”, various weapons under “Nat”, and many other names, some they did, some they didn’t recognize, like “Hill”, ”Coulson”, and ”Fury”, which couldn’t possibly mean Nick Fury. And right in the center of the wall, unlabeled, sat the coolest Spiderman suit they had ever seen. It hadn’t looked wor, nor did it look like the suit the vigilante normally wore. And tinkering on it from behind was Tony fucking Stark.

Breath caught. Jaws dropped. Because there was the man this entire trip had led them towards. And he was tinkering. Peter ushered them into the lab, putting a finger to his lips as he called out to FRIDAY.

“Hey FRI, at max volume, play that one vine that I always reenact around Mr. Stark.”

The class waited in anticipation as the music abruptly stopped and Tony Stark looked up from his suit in confusion. Suddenly, from around the lab at a volume that was almost deafening, came,

“You are my daAD, YOU’RE MY DAD! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE” It was gone as quickly as it came, and Stark leapt out of his chair. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT PETER”

He turned around, and Peter said, “Language” 

Tony smirked. “Yeah, okay Cap.” For a split second, he was extremely paternal, but it disappeared in a second. He turned back into Tony Stark, with his paparazzi swooning smile.

“Hello Midtown, you lucky ducks. Welcome to my lab, you should all thank your lucky stars that you know Peter, seeing as he’s the one who got you this. Um, most of the stuff in my lab, you can see, so it would be pretty boring to go around saying ‘and this is this..’ so I’m going to let you walk around, trust that you won’t touch anything, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask me or Peter. I would recommend Peter because he reorganized this entire place. Probably knows it better than I do.” He ended his little monologue, staring at the kids. “What are you waiting for, kiddies, go! What are you, dogs? Do I need to give you commands?” The tour group scattered, walking up to various things like they were in a museum, hands clasped behind their backs.

A few times, when the class was observing certain drawers and things, Peter Parker would butt past them with a hasty, “‘Scuse me!”, open the drawer, throw things out of the drawer in search of something, then haphazardly throw the drawer’s contents back in.

Every once and a while, from across the room, someone would shout a “Mr. Stark? What are the equations on this board?”

And Tony would look up from the Spiderman suit, and say something like, “I dunno, most of that’s Peter’s writing, ask him.”

And Peter would look up from the suit, pause whatever he was working on, and go up to the board.

“Most of these are just me being bored. A lot of them are unsolvable math problems that I work on for fun when I have time, one of them is Spiderman's web fluid, one is an equation for the effectiveness and longevity of the paralytic agent I’m working on for Tasha’s Widow Bites, and I think that one is my notes for that history project on that book that’s due in like, a week.” 

And then Peter would return to the Spiderman suit with Tony.

It went on for a while until people started noticing the commotion going on with the suit.

“I swear I didn’t mean to do that, I promise, ohmygod, let me go get the web remover!” Peter’s class turned to see Tony Stark covered in sticky white glop.

“Peter, I swear to God, if I wasn’t the one entrusted by the government to keep you safe, you would be dead.” Peter rushed around the lab, muttering, “Oh my god why did I organize the lab where did I put the web remover? Dad, I swear that was an accident!”

Tony looked somewhat amusedly at Peter, beckoning him over. “It’s okay, kid, you’re fine don’t sweat it, we were installing the quick dissolve ones anyway.” Peter got closer to Tony, looking extremely apologetic. Mr. Stark, I promise I’ll find the web dissolver I just-”

“Gotcha, kid!” Tony took the other cartridge of web fluid and unleashed it on Peter who just sat there, unmoving, until it was empty.

“I guess I deserved that.” 

Peter’s class stared. Unmoving. Shell-shocked.

“Hey Mr. Stark, did Peter just call you dad?” came the question, from Flash, because who else would it have come from?

Tony shrugged, as though he wasn’t completely freaking out, because he knew Peter was freaking out, and he turned to see Peter’s brain shutting down and ohmygod his kid was probably dying inside- “I dunno, the kid’s practically imprinted on me like a baby duckling. Horrible choice really, I mean he hangs out with Captain America, and instead, he was like, ‘nope, I like this one’ honestly everyone makes bad decisions.” Peter’s comically wide eyes started to relax, and the kid started to wipe his face of the web fluid.

“Anyway, let’s not talk about my horrible decisions, and instead, move into the cooler lab. Mine!”

Tony scoffed. “Cooler lab, my ass. I’m the one who made your lab.” Peter scoffed, mocking Tony.

“Excuse you, I have a functioning BB-8 in there. What do you have, an old car?” Tony made an offended noise. “I thought you liked my car. After all, you are working so diligently to restore it. Or are you lying? Do I need to get you to Steve, are you feeling okay? The Peter I know would never lie.” He beckoned at Peter’s class, who followed the odd duo through the doorway, completely forgetting the ‘dad’ thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I said at the beginning, there's going to be another Tony chapter, as well as a chapter with all the Avengers, and maybe??? an aftermath chapter, haven't decided yet. Please point me to any errors, see you in the next one!
> 
> Also, I have a twitter now. Don't know how it works, but I guess I'll figure it out. @merrysophiatras


	7. Tony is A Dad™ and Peter is a Meme™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More IronDad SpiderSon fluff for the soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strolling through and answering your comments, I've realized that I say 'wow thanks' way too much but honestly, I don't care.

Suddenly, they were all in a new place. If they were excited at anything in this facility, the lobby, the lab, the training room, the penthouse, even Tony Stark’s lab, they had their minds blown by this. Because Peter’s lab was actually something from a movie.

It was a bit smaller than Tony’s lab, though still the size of an expensive Manhattan apartment. It was roughly ‘L’ shaped, and the class couldn’t really see around the corner. The room only had one floor to ceiling window, at the top of the ‘L’, but to compensate it did have a massive skylight filtering light into the room. Large lamps and floating lights that defied gravity cast another layer of clean white light onto the room. Unlike Tony’s lab, which looked more like an extremely fancy auto shop, Peter’s lab was pristine. The walls were a color of white that seemed impossible to achieve, and the floors were so shiny you could vaguely see your reflection. All throughout the air near the skylight, little mechanical planes daintier than paper airplanes flew. On one wall, there were many three foot tall drawers that no one could possibly fathom what was in them. On another wall sat a long row of mannequins in display cases. Each one was equipped with armor for a different Avenger, whose name was projected atop the display. Underneath the mannequins were their weapons. Some Avengers, like Tony Stark, didn’t have weapons, and their display cases were empty, but some, like Natasha Romanov, had so many that the case practically couldn’t stay shut. Hawkeye’s just had an ordinary crossbow in the case, but with about a hundred different looking arrows, the case looked about ready to burst. In the outside corner of where the room turned, his class could see the aforementioned working BB-8. And an R2D2. And a C3PO. All looking the exact same as they did in the movies. In one corner, two groups of small succulents sat, both looking good, but one under some special light. There was a large working table in the center, where a few blueprints lay scattered, along with trinkets and pieces of something not yet recognizable. There were a few barstool style chairs around the table, all with something on them. Though the whole lab had a futuristic vibe to it, once everyone turned the corner, they could see a small section, the bottom of the ‘L’, that was covered in the old lecture-hall style chalkboards you see in movies, the floor to ceiling ones. It was completely filled with the same, almost messier handwriting that they had seen in the room before, with lots of chalk on ledges at various heights along the board. A large, movable wooden ladder sat situated at a random spot, which had some formula that Peter’s class didn’t understand. Along the chalkboard wall seemed to be the only part of the room that didn’t seem to be a hundred years in the future. There was a small, comfortable-looking leather chair next to a beanbag, and a small wooden end table with an antique lamp that cast a warm glow, and a few worn books. Around the corner, they could also see the same type of floating glass stairway they saw in the main room leading up to a platform on the second floor, to a see-through glass door that appeared to be locked.

Peter looked embarrassed. “Um- Sorry about the mess-” he started, scrambling to clean up the table and making chairs available for his classmates’ use.” “Um, make yourself at home, look around, play with stuff, I don’t care, just don’t touch my plants, they’re an experiment on human contact, don’t erase my chalkboard, and don’t go in my room.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and it was clear to everyone that the stress of the day plus showing them all this made Peter’s anxiety levels go through the roof.

“If um, you have any questions, I’ll be at the worktable. Um. Yeah. Feel free to open all the drawers and things. Some of them are biometrically locked and you won’t be able to get in, but some of them are open. I’ll just,’ he stammered, “be here.”

Peter sat down at his table, staring down at his blueprints and trying his hardest not to snap his pencil in two. Soon enough, someone joined him. He looked over to see MJ.

“Hey loser,” she said, and Peter looked up at her helplessly. He was surprised when she gave him a soft smile. “You’ll figure it out. You always do… Spiderman.” She added in a voice low enough that no one heard her. Peter’s eyes widened, and he rushed to defend himself. She held up a hand. “No need, Parker, I’ve known for a while now. This was just sort of proof. I won’t tell.” He didn’t say anything, but he hoped that the absolute gratitude he held in his eyes would convey his message. She laughed, a surprisingly warm sound. “The only thing I ask of you is to please get me an interview with Pepper Potts. I need it, for reasons I am unable to tell you.” At this point, she had cheered him up, and he laughed out loud. “Will do, MJ. And by the way, it’s Pepper Stark. Mr. Stark is very possessive of her and likes to always remind the world that he got her. It only took him a million years.” 

“I like how that insinuates that I’m over a million years old, Peter.” Peter looked up at Tony. “Well, yeah, you’re ancient.” Tony Stark looked appalled.

Peter laughed again, harder this time. “Karen, remind me tomorrow to ask Pepper if she would be okay with giving MJ an interview.” A voice came from seemingly everywhere at once. “Alright, Peter. Tomorrow at dinner I will let you know.”

Mr. Lazacs tilted his head. “Peter, I thought FRIDAY was the AI in this building. Who’s Karen?”

Peter grinned, his anxiety seemingly fading and his confidence returning. “Well, FRIDAY is Mr. Stark’s AI, so she runs the building, obviously, but I have my own AI, too. Her name’s Karen. Mr. Stark built her base off of FRIDAY’s basic programming for me, and I basically just ran with it. Her and FRIDAY, though similar, can be very different. I think of them sort of as sisters. Say hi, Karen.”

“Hello, Peter. I am surprised to see you with visitors in your lab. Normally the only person allowed in is Mr. Dad.”

Peter laughed. “First key difference. If you were to ask FRIDAY to introduce herself, she would talk about how she was programmed by Tony Stark and what her purpose was. Karen’s a bit more emotional. Softer. She asks you how your day is, and she accepts your nicknames for people. Hence, the Mr. Dad thing. FRIDAY usually doesn’t. Honestly, I have no clue how Shuri managed to change her name without FRIDAY questioning it. Normally it has to be approved by like, everyone, in order for her to actually change your name. I would know. I’ve had to do it. It’s a pain. Karen, on the other hand, just kinda rolls with it. Karen being empathic and fairly human is actually what gave me the idea for Melanie.” He smiled at his teacher, who looked highly impressed.

“Hey Parker!” came a voice from above them, “What’s this room?” Flash was looking through the glass door at the top of the stairs. Peter scowled.

“That’s my room, Flash, for when I stay at the tower. I told you not to snoop over there.” Flash backed away from the door, still peeking. Peter’s frown deepened. “Karen, frost the glass to my room.” Suddenly, the glass door was not so see-through, the glass fogging up and preventing curious children from peeking inside.

He went back to tinkering with the scraps on his table, which were now somewhat starting to resemble Widow’s Bites.

A girl Peter liked but couldn’t remember the name of spoke up. “Mr. Stark, how did you and Peter even meet, anyway?” Peter and Tony exchanged glances. “Well, um. Peter did many memorable things in a very short amount of time. He entered my essay contest and did very well, at the same time he joined the MIT Science Fair and became the youngest person to ever win it, at the same time he applied to be an intern, and at the same time he got himself in the news for saving a cat, so I told myself, I gotta see who this kid is. So I did, and here we are today.” Michelle, Ned, and Peter all knew that this wasn’t the truth, (at least not all of it), but the girl accepted the answer anyway.

“Peter, do you know who Spiderman is?” Came the question from Abe.

“Yes, but I’m not allowed to tell.”

“Peter, who’s your favorite Avenger?”

“Besides Tony, Thor. But Tony wins by a long shot.” Nobody realized how hard it was for Peter not to say ‘dad’.

“Mr. Stark, how would you describe your relationship with Peter?”

“He’s my kid in everything except blood.” No one picked up on the fact that that meant legally, too.

“Mr. Stark, what’s the most embarrassing video you have on Peter, and vice versa, what’s the worst video you have on him?” Peter and Tony chuckled.

“Hey Karen, ask FRIDAY for that video of Peter meeting Steve and Nat and immediately falling down the stairs. Peter groaned, and projected on the table was a video of the common room they had just walked through.

Peter, who looked slightly younger, was at the top of the glass stairs, Tony, Steve, and Natasha at the bottom, sitting at the bar. The video started with Peter walking out of the hallway at the top of the stairs. _‘Hey Mr. Stark, have you seen my- ohmygod is that Captain America?’ video Stark chuckled. ‘Good to see you too, kid, what am I, chopped liver?’ Peter started stammering, trying to defend himself before- ‘Holy shit!’ Peter tumbled down the stairs head first, rolling onto the landing at an awkward angle. Natasha raced to pick him up, and Peter looked at her dreamily. ‘Mr. Stark, I think I have a concussion.’ He started to pick himself up, peeling himself from Natasha’s grasp. ‘Why is that, kiddo?’ He looked at Stark confusedly. ‘I just hallucinated that the queen of the entire goddamned world, Natasha Romanov, helped me up when I fell.’ he paused, his brain thinking hard about what to say next. ‘It’s too late for this shit, I’m going back upstairs, will you text May that I’m staying here?’ The final frame of the video had the camera pan toward Natasha, who was looking after Peter with a dopey grin._

Peter, Ned, and Tony’s hearts all panged at the mention of May, but they still found joy in the video. Peter grinned. “Okay, I admit, that was pretty funny after the fact, but my head hurt really bad. I actually do think I had a concussion. I’m defending my honor. And it’s my turn.” His joyful grin turned into a mischievous smirk, and he said, “Karen, play the video of Clint jumping from the vents and scaring the crap outta him, making him accidentally- you know what, you know what I’m talking about.”

When the video started, it was just Tony, working on an Iron Man suit with the bots. _In the background, everyone could see all of the other Iron Man marks. ‘No, stupid, over here. Do I need to go get the dunce cap, Dummy? Here. No, here. There you go. Butterfingers, I see you with the fire extinguisher, and if you come any closer, I’ll-’ the bot backed out of frame, and for another few seconds, all that was heard was the sound of Tony berating his bots, until- ‘OHMYGOD TONY WATCH OUT’ Clint came free falling from the vents without anything as a warning, sending Tony reeling backwards. Right into the emergency button. That deployed all the Iron Man suits in the background. Before you know it, there’s smoke everywhere from the suits, Clint is clinging to Tony, yelling about someone catching him, Tony is trying to deploy a protocol to send the suits back to their spots, Butterfingers has sprayed the entire room with fire extinguisher, Dummy and U are wheeling around aimlessly, seemingly in a panic, and then Bucky is falling from the vents, yelling about killing Clint._

That’s where the video ends.

The room was quiet for a moment before the entire place burst out into laughter. Tony put his head in his hands. Then sat up.

“Okay, children of the corn, time to leave. In order to hit the Common room and maybe see some Avengers, you gotta make it snappy.” He looked at his watch. 1:04, which gave them roughly thirty minutes before they would have to head out.

For (almost) the last time, they made their way back into the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it's official. This thing will have two (2) more chapters. It will also have at least:
> 
> 1 prequel  
> 2 sequels
> 
> Look out for that, I guess.  
> See you in the next one.
> 
> (Also I wrote over 500 words of just describing Peter's lab, I got a little carried away, soMEONE STOP ME)


	8. Peter is Good with Children, or, Meet EVERYONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's class gets to hang out with ALL of the Avengers and Co., and MJ gets an interview with not one, but four of the most influential women in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this, everyone's happy, no one's hurt, Thor and Jane are still together, Mjolnir's still a thing, Loki's still alive, and basically, after Infinity War, they fixed everything, not just Thanos.
> 
> Also, no one caught the name changing comment in the last chapter. Oh well.

The elevator was slightly awkward for Peter and Tony, though the rest of the group seemed to enjoy it. It was filled with questions about what was going on, if they were being pranked, were they going to see Thor, Tony are you and Captain America chill now, Peter what’s it like personally knowing like three assassins, is Loki good, what’s it like being friends with two gods, can you please take us back to your room Parker it looked cool as shit, along with many others.

When they reached the end of the short elevator ride, they were less than impressed. Having seen two cooler-than-all-shit labs and the grand entryway to Tony Stark’s house, they had pretty much seen it all. Though the Avengers common room was much less _grand_ , it was actually bigger. The fridge was somehow even bigger than the one upstairs, with three couches instead of two, and a TV that was bigger than the other and a bar that was longer, and fully stocked.

The thing that made it look so much less grand was that it looked lived in. The couches, rather than being expensive and pristine-looking, were made of worn leather and were piled with mismatched pillows and soft looking blankets. The TV was playing ‘I Love Lucy’ to an unknown Avenger on the couch, who was curled up in one of the many plush blankets. The bar, though fully stocked, was only stocked with a few brands, clearly favorites, a lot of them somewhat cheap, rather than expensive variety to impress people. The dining table was wooden, chipped in a few places, and there was one chair that didn’t match the rest, pulled up from somewhere else. There was a half-finished lego set on top of it, the pieces scattered, yet still organized. There were dolls on the floor, though no one could seem to fathom why, (Cassie and Lila had a tea party) there was a large frayed rug that appeared to be really soft, and unlike the rest of the tower, which was decorated with hospital-whites and gray-blues, the entire place was flooded in warm light and covered in oranges and golds. Near the elevator, there was a coat hanger where a large hammer sat, along with where a few fashionable black trench coats, a worn leather jacket, a suit jacket, and a blue hoodie hung. Captain America’s shield casually leaned against a wall next to a pile of various shoes, from stilettos to fancy boots to sneakers, all of various sizes and states of wear. There was a room that looked intended to be a dining room, that had nothing in it. A strange design looked etched on the floor, but everyone decided that it was probably just a rug.

Tony cleared his throat. And the figure watching ‘I Love Lucy’ turned. Well. It was assumed to be one figure. In reality, It was three, the girls of the group, all huddled together so closely, they looked like one person. Natasha was in the middle, clearly just back from taking a shower. Pepper had changed into yoga pants, and Natasha was braiding her hair. Wanda was lying on Nat’s lap, her bad leg propped up on the armrest of the couch.

Natasha smiled. “Hey Tony, Pete, Pete’s class. You can come and grab a blanket and watch the show with us. Pretty much everyone on the team is a baby about the cold, and I think we have enough blankets to warm a small army invading Russia in the winter. The others are coming, but for now, I guess you’ll all have to deal with us girls,” she said, like three of the most dangerous and influential women on the planet weren’t sitting in front of them.

Peter ran up first, yelling about the soft blanket, followed by Ned and MJ, who reluctantly picked a blanket off the top and sat next to Peter, backs against the couch. Natasha finished Pepper’s braid, and gave a look to MJ, holding up a brush. Peter thought that MJ would drop dead before she let anyone braid her hair, but MJ was looking a bit starstruck, and nodded, scooting closer to Natasha. Note to Peter. MJ goes soft around women she idolizes. Slowly but surely, Peter’s classmates and teacher grabbed blankets off various couches and sat on the floor, Tony grabbing a comfortable looking blanket and lying down on the couch opposite. Peter gave a look at Ned and MJ, asking for permission to leave them, and they both shooed him towards Tony. He left his blanket over by the couch, draping it over Wanda and crawling in the space between Tony’s legs and the couch. He took Tony’s blanket and covered himself, as well. (Everyone noticed it, but unanimously decided not to say anything.) Tony whined. “Peter, you exposed my feet. You parasite, you’re gonna come over here with your freezing cold fingers and hog my blanket and expose my feet, how rude.” after Peter had apologized and recovered his feet, everyone settled down. And for a glorious minute, everyone was peaceful. That was, until the empty dining room space started glowing. Half a minute later, the light receded, two figures left behind.

“-feel you’ve been on Midgard long enough to know Loki, that humans aren’t like us. You can’t stab them the way you do me. Now Jane and Darcy had to stay behind and fix your mess. You’re lucky we had this dinner with Stark, brother, or you would have helped them.” Loki scoffed.

“Exactly! Stark! He’s been stabbed and shot multiple time in or near his vital organs and he’s fine! Right, Sta-” he finally took in his surroundings, noticing the children piled in the common room.

“Brother, am I the only one seeing this? Why are there infants in your common room?” Peter popped up from between Tony’s legs.

“Hey, Uncle Thor! Hey Mr. Loki! How are you guys? These are my friends, they’re on a tour of the tower!” Thor immediately smiled as wide as he could. 

“Son of Stark! Peter! How good it is to see you! And any friend of Starkson’s is a friend of mine! Will you be joining us for dinner?”

Tony laughed emptily. “No, they’ll be leaving soon, but for now…” Thor nodded, seemingly understanding.

“Hey Mr. Loki, can you show my classmates some magic? You should do the snake thing!” Loki held a hand up, silencing Peter.

“I am not a magician, insect child, I am a trickster. If you want magic, you should ask your curious Stephen Stran-” Loki was cut off by a glowing orange circle in the Common room appearing. “You should watch what you say, trickster Lord, I’m not a magician either. I’m a master of the Mystic Arts.” Strange looked… strange, for lack of a better word. Though he wasn’t wearing his robes or the eye of Agamotto, he still had his cape on, which made for a weird combination of business casual and mystical. He held a bag with several bottles of two expensive looking wines, a white and a red. 

“Pepper told me to bring wine. There’s more if we need it, but I figured most people would be going for scotch and whiskey, so I figured we’d start with this.” Pepper got up from the couch, her newly braided hair falling down her left shoulder.

“Oh, Strange, you’re early!” He looked around confusedly, noticing the children. “Do you want me to go back, or…” Pepper stammered. “No, Stephen you’re okay. Meet Peter’s friends, they’ll be leaving soon, but they’re on a tour of the tower and someone,” she paused, making a pointed glance at Tony, “thought it would be a good idea to bring them up here.” Stephen nodded, looking at Tony, too.

“Yes, Stark is quite a moron, isn’t he?” Tony looked offended, but didn’t say anything.

“Make yourself at home, Strange, I probably needed to start cooking anyway. Thor, you’re making dessert, right? And you brought that beer that can get Steve and Bucky drunk?” Doctor Strange took off his sentient cape and hung it on the coat rack, and Thor nodded vigorously, pulling two bottles of mead from seemingly nowhere and placing them on the bar, as he got started on helping Pepper with food. Eventually, Natasha got off the couch as well, going to make the noodles that everyone had been hearing about this whole time. Loki took her spot on the couch.

About a minute after Peter’s class had adjusted to the two new gods and one new person, everything started to turn chaotic.

Before they knew it, the elevator opened to Steve, Bruce, and Bucky, the latter of the two who joined the kids in the living room, the former going to help out in the kitchen. Vision fazed through a wall and appeared out of nowhere, and Clint dropped in from a vent above them.

Everything was chaos, with a handful of Avengers and Co. and thirty-something others. Many of the Avengers greeted Ned, who looked about ready to pass out from excitement. MJ got up and walked around, phone in hand, asking all of the Avengers (who already knew who she was, and who were highly impressed all the same) questions for her blog. At some point in the crowd, Tony and Peter had gotten up, greeting and hugging everyone who showed up.

The icing on the cake of Peter’s embarrassment was when the kids came. First, it was the Barton children, Lila, Cooper, and Nathaniel. When they came through the door, the first thing Lila and Cooper said was, 

“Mommy, where’s Uncle Peter?” Not, ‘where’s my dad, who I haven’t seen in a week’, because who cares about him? Clint was just a little upset if that wasn’t obvious.

The kids pinpointed Peter extremely well in the chaos, and they tackled him into the living room, oblivious to the eyes watching. Lila was sitting on Peter, while Cooper held his hands over Peter’s eyes.

“Uncle Peter!” She started, slightly screaming, “Guess who it is?” Peter feigned confusion, bringing his hand to his chin, like he was thinking. 

“Is it Wanda?” The little girl giggled. “Nope!”

“Is it Pepper?” She laughed out loud. “Uncle Peter, you know I’m not Pepper!”

“Ooh, I know, it’s Cassie, right! With how light you are, it has to be Cassie.” She huffed. “No, I’m not Cassie.”

“Oh I know…” he started, drawing his words out and making her smile, “It’s Lila and Cooper!” In one fluid motion, he grabbed both Cooper and Lila, one in each hand, and stood up, dangling them by their stomachs. Somehow, without dropping Cooper, he swung Lila into a sitting position on his shoulders, where she declared she would be for the rest of the night. Finally, after some convincing from the boy, Peter put Cooper down, who turned and ran to find his dad.

Peter finally turned towards his classmates, who didn’t look confused anymore, but still amazed.

“Hey, Lilly Billy you know some of them! You remember Ned, right?” Ned waved, and Lila’s enthusiastic wave back proved she did. Peter pointed to Michelle.

“And that’s my other friend MJ! I’ve told you a lot about her!” Lila gasped, bringing her hands to her face and sending Peter scrambling to keep her upright.

“Uncle Peter, you’re right. She is pretty!” Peter blushed scarlet, before she continued. “But you didn’t tell me she was prettier than Auntie Nat!” Peter, who had forced his blush back down his face, held his hand to his mouth in mock surprise. “Prettier than Auntie Nat? Are you sure you know what you’re saying? I thought you said Auntie Nat was the prettiest person in the whole wide world!” Lila looked around suspiciously and held her finger to her lips, before tapping Peter to get off his shoulders and running towards Natasha.

Peter looked at MJ, who was also blushing at the praise. Based on the smirks his classmates gave him, they hadn’t overlooked the pretty comment. 

“MJ,” Peter started, looking back at Lila fondly, “You just got the biggest compliment a small child could ever give you. That little girl literally idolizes Tasha with her entire being.”

MJ blushed even deeper, and Peter was about to address the class, before-

“I got you, Peter!” A small girl was suddenly attached to Peter’s back, one who had not arrived with the Barton Clan. Peter grinned. 

“It’s the Lassie Cassie!” Cassie giggled, and suddenly Hope Van Dyne, a board member for Pym industries and also one of the most influential people on the planet, was in front of the class.

“Cas, what did your dad tell you about jumping on people? First it was Natasha, then Wanda, then Pepper, and now Peter!” Cassie looked at the floor, and Peter rushed to defend her. “I can’t speak for the other three, but in her defense, I did tell her she could jump on me whenever she pleased. It’s part of a game we have.” The girl looked up at Hope with wide puppy eyes, who sighed and turned to leave.

“Hey, Hope, can you stay here for a sec?” She nodded, and Peter called for Pepper, Wanda, and Natasha. Wanda, with help from Vision, waddled over, and Natasha and Pepper told Steve to watch their food, making their way towards Peter with concerned Mom-looks on their faces.

“So, you’ve all met Michelle, right?” They all nodded fondly. “I’ve heard you talk about her, and she sought me out and asked me some very insightful questions, absolutely wonderful, especially for someone so young,” Hope said, nodding at Michelle absentmindedly. Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda all confirmed the statement, and MJ looked like the attention she was recieving would make her spontaneously combust. Now she knew what it felt like.

“So she runs an empowerment blog and was wondering if eventually, she could get a full-length interview with the four of you about young people, especially women, standing up and speaking out.” Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper all looked super excited, having had their eyes on MJ since they saw her, but Hope looked somewhat sad.

“I would absolutely adore that, Michelle, but Scott, Cassie and I are heading back home tomorrow. I won’t be back in New York for a while. We only came here for this dinner.” Michelle looked disappointed, but was preparing to say that she understood, before Pepper’s eye’s lit up.

“Oh my goodness, why don’t we just do it tonight? Michelle, you’re absolutely welcome at dinner tonight, if you can make it. You too, Ned.” She looked hopeful, and Peter knew it was because Pepper really liked interviews when they weren’t with people who weren’t press or stockholders. Everyone could see how excited she was.

Though Ned politely declined, stating some scheduling conflict, MJ looked like someone had just told her she’d won the lottery. She couldn’t even form words, and just nodded. The girls all went back to what they were doing.

Peter’s class didn’t even react at this point.

Suddenly, Tony Stark was standing on the bar, quieting the party down.

“Alrighty, kiddies, as fun as this was, if you’re with Peter’s class, it’s time to go now.” An audible sigh went out through the class, disappointed at the wild trip ending.

“Mr. Lazacs, I’ll be keeping Peter, seeing as it’s fairly inefficient to bus him to school only to walk back here.” Mr. Lazacs didn’t even try and argue, still somewhat guilty about not believing Peter at the beginning.

“Peter’s friend, Pepper’s told me you’re joining us. Dinner starts at seven, but seeing as everyone else showed up five hours early, you can come whenever you want, just tell Peter before you get here so he can meet you downstairs and let you in.” He clapped his hands.

“Okay children except for Peter, into the elevator you go, bye-bye!”

As the elevator doors closed around his peers, Peter could see Flash mouthing the words, ‘You better fucking explain later’ over and over again.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Peter got a text from MJ.

From: MJ

_I never thought I would say this Parker, but I owe you one._

From: MJ

 _More than one._

Monday was going to be a hell of a day for Peter Parker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I actually kind of wanna write the scene where Michelle goes to dinner and gets her interview, but it won't really fit in this story, so I'm probably going to post it as a different story in this series. Look out for that one, I guess.
> 
> Also, Peter definitely has the ability to turn Natasha "I used to be a Russian spy and I know how to kill a man with a toothpick" Romanov into a worried mom.
> 
> EDIT- I actually published the dinner scene if you need something to tide you over


	9. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's teacher couldn't get Peter's chemistry class to calm down if he tried, so they take a break to satisfy the children's curiosity by asking Peter questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you haven't read it already, I did actually write a one-shot regarding Michelle's interview, and something important happened (wink wonk) so if you wanna hop on over there, you might be a little less confused.

Mr. Alec Lazacs had decided that the best teacher in the entire world couldn’t get his class to calm down.

They were taking notes. Or, they should have been. But every five minutes, someone was hitting Peter Parker in the back of the head with a question on crumpled up paper. Or tapping his shoulder. Or generally being disruptive in a way that concerned Peter Parker. And Peter was staring at Michelle, which, though unsurprising, was still fairly annoying.

“Alright, I guess we’re done here, considering none of you can deal with this juicy new gossip you’ve learned. Sit at your desks, read a book, I don’t care.

That didn’t work, either. They kept asking questions. And being disruptive. He slammed his hands down on his desk. “That’s it! Parker, up here, now.”

Peter timidly made his way up to his desk. “Yes?”

Mr. Lazacs didn’t respond, writing the number ‘10’ on the board. “You all get to ask Peter a total of ten questions. If your question is stupid and he doesn’t answer, it still counts. Make your questions count, people, and if I see you bothering Peter with questions again today after this, you’re going to the office.”

Everyone’s hands went up except for Michelle’s and Ned’s.

Peter could see Mr. Lazacs point at someone from behind him.

“Peter, tell us something embarrassing about all of the Avengers.” Peter giggled.

“Um. Tony can play the piano, and the first time he ever showed me his skills, the first thing he played was Mad World. Vision makes dad jokes. Clint, though extremely nimble and able to shoot a target from a million miles away, is super clumsy when he’s not in battle and once fell, knocked into a vase, and pulled down another one in attempts to pull himself back up, breaking another one. Thor loves to have his hair braided with flowers. In order to make sure Loki’s Loki, and not an illusion, we often throw bottles at him, and he never moves out of the way, so we’ve smashed many bottles over his head. Wanda once tried to mind control Natasha to put ice cubes down her own shirt and ended up telling her to put ice cubes down her shirt. Bucky’s arm once malfunctioned so that he ran across the tower screaming as his arm smacked himself in the face, and as much as I wish to say that I could take credit for that, no one knows how it happened. Bruce sometimes stutters. Steve secretly enjoys the old people jokes. Scott once ran around San Francisco in his underwear to please his daughter. And if I told you anything embarrassing about Natasha, she would actually kill me, so I’ll just tell you something soft. She’s practically my godmother, as well as the godmother to all of Clint’s children, and she absolutely lives for it.” (He didn’t mention the fact that she actually was his godmother) “If one of the Barton children or I are faced with any type of danger, no matter how small, she goes into Mother Bear mode and absolutely ruins whoever put us there.”

Mr. Lazacs erased the ‘10’, replacing it with ‘9’. He pointed on someone else.

“Peter, are Pepper and Tony like surrogate parents? Because when we were in the elevator with Mrs. Stark, she totally treated you like her kid.” Peter smiled, but he was hiding something behind it.

“Well, like you probably figured out by now, Tony is my mentor, I learn from him, I get to shadow him places and learn what he does. So I’m with him a lot. Pep’s his wife, and whenever she’s in town, they spend as much time together as they can. Besides like dates and stuff, which obviously I don’t go on, normally that just means that Pepper does her work in either Tony or I’s lab, considering that’s where we spend most of our time. Sometimes, it means watching a movie with the Avengers, or setting up a dinner, like you saw Friday. Anyway, I hang out with her a lot. If any of you actually paid attention, you would notice that a lot of the times Pepper is the one to pick me up. The rest of the time it’s Happy, our head of Security.”

‘8’

Flash raised his hand, asking his question before Mr. Lazacs even called on him.

“Parker, how much time do you spend over there anyway? Why do you have a room there, and especially a room on Tony Stark’s floor? And why did he give you your own lab?”

He looked kind of confused, and saw that Mr. Lazacs had changed the ‘8’ to a ‘5’. The rest of the students groaned.

“Um, well. Because I’m still in school and not working full time, in order for my job to ‘count’, I spend a lot of time making up for that. I normally leave the lab at 10 at night on weekdays. On weekends, I just stay there because it’s like twenty times more convenient than getting a cab to and from Queens every day, which is why I have a room. The reason my room’s on Tony’s floor is partly because the other residential floors belong to other Avengers, and Pepper didn’t want to make them share floors with me, so she gave me what was her old room, from before she and Tony were a thing. Obviously, it’s completely different now, which you saw, even though I told you not to.” Flash shrank back in his seat. “As for the lab, I really don’t know. That whole space, Tony’s and my lab, used to be Tony’s lab. I don’t really know why, but one day Tony just evicted me from the lab and didn’t let me back in, and I was like, freaking out about it, and a week and a half later, he let me in and there was just a wall. And I was like, ‘why’ and he was like, ‘not that I’m kicking you out of my lab or anything, but I thought you might want your own space’, he led me to my lab, which at the time was just the big table and all the built-in drawers and basically said, ‘Have fun’. I just sort of made it my own, a mixture of cool futuristic tech and various movies.” Flash nodded, still looking embarrassed. (It suited him. The kid needed to learn some humility.) Peter supposed he could say that. It was true. He’d gotten his lab before he’d been under the guardianship of Tony Stark, and that was what happened. He does usually leave the lab at 10, but he doesn’t go to Queens, he just goes upstairs. The only real lie was that that’s not why he stays at the tower.

MJ raised her hand, and Mr. Lazacs called on her.

“What’s up with the one corner in your lab, the one that’s not something from a movie?” Peter nodded, blushing, and for not-the-first time, Mr. Lazacs wondered if there was anything going on between the two.

“Um, well. I have this thing. I think best when I can feel stuff. I’m a pretty tactical person. I like writing, not typing, if that makes sense. I did the chalkboard first, movie-style so that I could physically write stuff. Even on Mr. Starks holoboard, where you have a motion sensing pen and are actually writing, doesn’t have the same sensation as physically writing something out with chalk. The rest of it is sentimental stuff that didn’t match my room, mostly reminding me of friends and family. The beanbag over there was Ned’s, but he bought too many when he was redoing his game room, so he gave it to me. Now it’s there. The oversized leather chair was my dad’s. It’s one of the only memories I have of my dad, him sitting in that chair and reading me a book. Um, Clint, Hawkeye, is a carpenter, and he made that table for his wife, who wanted that specific design on a whim while she was pregnant. Afterward, she realized that they had nowhere to put it, and for the longest time it was in the common room until I mentioned it and Clint said he was getting rid of it. I thought it looked cool, so I snatched it, and now it’s sort of an inside joke. The books are all science fiction, fantasy, and comic books that were left to me by my Uncle Ben. There were thousands of books he left to me, and I’m still making my way to reading them all. The lamp was from Pepper, who bought it for the common room before it was decorated, something warm to start with, but Tony thinks it’s hideous and because it’s the Avengers common room…” he trailed off. “Let’s just say that they could not handle the stained glass, and it’s broken in a lot of places, but eventually I stole it, minimizing the damage. Plus it’s cozy.”

 

‘4’

“What’s it really like, working with the Avengers?”

Mr. Lazacs erased the four, writing a three, and Peter thought.

“At first, it was pretty surreal. Before I got to know them, when they were living legends instead of people. When Natasha was still just a former Russian spy to me, and Steve was still just Captain America. But now that I see them as people, multifaceted people with sides the media doesn’t know, they just became like friends. Extremely eccentric friends with very deadly skill sets.”

‘3’

“Hey Peter, what’s your favorite thing about Tony Stark?”

“Honestly, you’re going to think I’m kidding, but like, it’s how much he cares. I know what you’re going to say. But Tony Stark is cool and aloof and doesn’t care about anyone, but seriously, it’s just a persona. Like, in order to please Steve and get him back home, he sent Bucky, the man who was brainwashed to kill his parents, to Wakanda to get him medical treatment. He gave me my own lab. He organizes dinner parties so we have an excuse to all meet up. He’s pretty great.” His class seemed skeptical but nodded anyway.

‘2’

“Who are your top five favorite Avengers.

“Oh. Um. I love them all, but if I had to choose, Tony first, and then Thor, and then in no particular order, Natasha, Bruce, and Scott.”

‘1’

“What kind of music do all the Avengers listen to?”

“Woah good question. Natasha really likes Classical, so does Bruce, when he’s stressed. Bruce mostly listens to what anyone else listens to. Scott and Clint both have kids, so like, they like most pop music. Clint also likes most country. Thor has decided that he likes Asgardian music far more than Earth music, but when he’s here he gets most of the music from the video games we play stuck in his head. Side note, I showed them all Undertale as a sort of joke, and every single one of them cried except Bruce, who had already played it. And Thor walked around humming the main theme for weeks. Steve listens to all kinds of music, catching up on everything he missed, and I don’t think he’s picked up a favorite yet. Bucky doesn’t try the same way Steve does, and since being on Earth has pretty much settled with nineties grunge and current Alternative. Don’t know why, but it really matches his aesthetic. Tony listens to Classic Rock, Hard Rock, Alt Rock, all rock except the rock that delves into metal.”

‘0’

“What about Spiderman”

“Now, Alyss-”

“No, it’s okay Mr. Lazacs, that’s my fault. I didn’t think to include him. Spiderman pretty much likes all music, minus electronica and most country, which means that he’s usually the team DJ. So, I monitor battles sometimes from the tower, not having superpowers or being a trained assassin, and once, during a battle, when the team was totally about to lose, and a bomb was about to go off under Central Park, He started playing the Final Countdown, and everyone else groaned and was like, ‘This is so not the time’, but they won’t admit that it so made them more confident and helped them win.”

Mr. Lazacs shooed him off to his seat, continuing his lesson.

If this was how they responded to touring the tower, Peter wondered what they’d be like in a month, after his real identity was released. It made him smile in his seat.

This was going to be a long ride, but fuck it if Peter wasn’t going to have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, yes this is the last chapter, no I won't write anymore, yes there will be a sequel or two.
> 
> Also, I know Clint isn't a carpenter, but Jeremy Renner is, so... it's a personal headcanon.
> 
> So that's it. Hope you enjoyed. You've all made it this far. Congrats. The race is over. You've all won. Your prize is the satisfaction of reading a completed story.
> 
> (Seriously though, I appreciate you :) )


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